What is done and yet to come, Amen!

There is a song by Dave Barnes called Amen, that I think describes so many of the feelings and emotions that I have had throughout my experience here in Liberia. I have never been great with words, but this song inspired me to write this blog.

In the last 9 months I have experienced love. A love that I have never felt before.. I have fallen in love with a country, a school, and a community in a way that I never thought was possible. This love will forever be a part of me, and this place and these people will always have a piece of my heart.

In the last 9 months I have experienced pain. A pain that comes when you watch someone that you have come to love suffer from the effects of poverty and corruption. A pain that forces you to react and respond. A pain that brings tears and hope.

In the last 9 months there have been days, and days, and days that feel the same. Sometimes these days are discouraging, and sometimes they are so refreshing. These days happen a lot more than I ever thought they would.

In the last 9 months I have experienced fear. A fear that brings frustration and worry. Will my students learn? Do they understand? Am I really making a difference?

In the last 9 months I have experienced pure joy! These are the best days and the best moments. There are times when I can do nothing but smile. The moments when the giggles of children become contagious, and the laughter of friends turns a bad day around. The people here bring me joy!

In the last 9 months I have built friendships. These friendships are genuine and sincere, not bound with conditions or obligations. I have made life-long friendships with people who have literally changed my life. People who love and care about me, and don’t expect me to be someone that I am not. People that I love and that I want to continue to learn more and more about every single day.

In the last 9 months I have experienced peace. Peace in a country where 200,000 people lost their lives during 14 years of civil war. Peace in a country where the majority population was displaced and people are re-building their lives. Peace when all I can hear at night is the sound of rain and crickets. Peace when children run and play, and when students talk about their dreams for the future.

In the last 9 months there have been nights of lights and music till we sleep. There is music that comes from the lips of families singing together before they go to sleep. Music comes from the students’ dorms, and from the radios of security as the walk the campus grounds. The best is when you see a person walking alone, singing so loud, so into the song, not caring about who hears them.

In the last 9 months I have been strong, but I still break. Like when a 9th grade student dies from complications with chicken pox, or a 2nd grader gets pregnant and kicked out of the house, or there is an accident and a child gets burned by boiling water, hot oil, or a coal iron. Sometimes we break, but still have the strength to keep going.

In the last 9 months I have experienced hope. Hope that our students will be motivated, inspired, and empowered. Hope that individuals and churches will continue to support the work being done at Ricks Institute. Hope that this country will continue to develop and prosper.

In the last 9 months I have experienced doubt. I have doubted my ability to teach my students the things that they need to know to succeed in life. I have doubted my strength and have doubted my hope. With doubting comes questioning. Sometimes the questions have answers and sometimes they don’t.

In the last 9 months there have been memories made that I will never live without. There will be endless stories to share, and pictures to show. There are people, places and experiences that I will never ever forget.

In the last 9 months there have been tears. Tears that I have shed out of frustration, out of sadness, and out of happiness. I have watched tears flow down the cheeks of friends and children. Tears come and go, for good and bad reasons.

In the last 9 months there has been grace. The grace of God has been so evident since the day we stepped off the airplane. Grace that is seen in the smiles of laughing children. Grace that is seen in a sunset on the beach. Grace that is seen walking through the market. Grace that covers us all.

In the last 9 months there have been prayers that I never thought I’d make. Prayers that came out in so many ways because I didn’t know how to pray them. Prayers in strange places and at strange moments. Prayers that were prayed alone and with others. Prayers that I know God heard, and that I know will be answered in Gods own timing.

Amen. What is done and yet to come, Amen.